Thursday, January 29, 2009

Guess who's coming to South?

Frankly Speaking readers can be the first to know: Brother Ron Otto will be returning to South Lansing Christian Church on February 15 to preach the Sunday sermon. Ron ministered at South from 1993 to 2006 before becoming the Senior Minister at Lincoln Christian Church in Lincoln, Illinois.

Ron did amazing things while at South. When he mentioned to me that he was going to be in the neighborhood on February 15, I got pretty excited. I already planned to be out of town that weekend and, when the speaker I planned to have here graciously allowed Ron to take his spot, the way was paved for Ron to once again preach in the church where he made such a big impact.

So, spread the word, friend. Ron Otto will be preaching at South on February 15!

I'm feelin' for you, Mr. President

Read an interesting tidbit this week about President Obama. Apparently he mistook a window for a door and, upon trying to enter the Oval Office from the portico between the West Wing and his personal residence, ran into a rather large pane of glass. Thankfully he wasn't injured.

I feel for him. He's in an unfamiliar place. He has the whole world watching every move he makes. He wants to make a good impression. And he runs into a window.

I've had the same experience. The first time I went on a retreat with our staff at South Lansing Christian Church we went to a cottage owned by one of our families. I planned to grill out for everyone and walked through the dining room intending to go outside and light the grill. Instead, thinking it was already open, I walked into a (very clean) patio door. I nearly broke my nose. The staff nearly broke their funny bones they were laughing so hard.

Thankfully the door didn't break and, aside from a bruised ego, there was no permanent damage.

If I had to guess, our new President probably had a chuckle at his own expense. He strikes me as the sort of fellow that doesn't take himself too seriously. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, you're probably going to have a very hard time making your way in the world.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Trolling for dollars

Myself, Mrs. Frankly, and our little Frank-ette are headed to Haiti in March to assist a surgical team at Northwest Haiti Christian Mission. This vital mission brings hope and healing to poor Haitians living on the Northwest corner of that island. Tracy will be using her recently completed Registered Medical Assistant's license in the birthing center and in the recover room of the mission's hospital. Abigail will be working in the infant orphanage to organize their inventory of baby clothes. I will be working with the Bible College training pastors and working with the local church. When I am not preaching and teaching, I will be doing laundry in the hospital's central sterile supply.

I launched a causes application on my facebook page today to help raise funds for our trip. The cost of the trip is $1500 each, for a total of $4500 for the three of us.

I thought I would also use this forum to ask my faithful Frankly Speaking readers to partner with us by praying for us and, if God enables you, by donating to our effort. I would love to know that you are praying for us during our trip on March 13-21. And, if you can help contribute, even a small amount, it will help us immensely. Hundreds of people drop by Frankly Speaking each week. If you can join even a few others in contributing, it will begin to add up and make a difference.

If you're moved to do so, please make your check out to South Lansing Christian Church and send it to:

ATTN: Frank Weller
South Lansing Christian Church
6300 Aurelius Rd.
Lansing, MI 48911

When you do, write "Weller Mission Trip" in the memo line. We'll make sure you're properly receipted.

And, thanks for helping us help Haitians.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Walkin' in a *%@#^$ Winter Wonderland

My friend, "Johnny on the Scott" recently announced that he is moving to Inverness, Florida to become the Senior Minister at First Christian Church there. In my email reply I told him, "I hate the cold. Therefore, I hate you. Congratulations on the new ministry. Love, Frank." [Note to the humor Nazis commenting on the previous post: John knows I was just kidding.]

Seriously though. Winter in Michigan has been tough so far. Our maintenance supervisor, Chris, knocked this mammoth icicle off the building yesterday and laid it on the floor of my office.

I thought about firing him. In fact, I might have actually told him he was fired. [He knew I was kidding, too . . . I think.]

The best thing about winter is that it kills the bugs and sets us up for a glorious Spring. In Florida, John will view Spring as a harbinger of the hot and humid days that lie around the corner. Me, I view Spring as a time for life to renew. A season filled with mushroom hunting, catchers and pitchers reporting, daffodils and tulips, and the dog rolling around in the grass, grateful to be released from her long winter hibernation.

Okay, I guess I can live with winter - not that I have any choice.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thoughts on my daughters BF

So my daughter has a new boyfriend. I haven't actually met the young man yet. We told our daughter when we gave her the "you're-old-enough-to-go-out-on-a-date card" that, before she could go anywhere with some suitor, that they first had to meet me, the DAD.

So Abby has been trying to arrange a meet and greet with young William all week. Apparently there is a basketball game at Everett Friday night and he wants her to accompany him there. So far, it hasn't worked out to meet the youngster.

She tells me he is a good boy. Of course she says that. Charles Manson's squeeze probably told her old man the same thing: "Daddy, whatever you do, don't look at his tattoo. He's very sensitive about it. And besides, all the boys are inking their foreheads these days." I'm sure Will is a good guy, though. My daughter is generally a good judge of character.

There are two musts that I insist upon, two inviolable standards that I expect from any young man who wants to date my daughter. First, he must be a Christian. And by that, I don't mean a kid who attends church just because his folks do, or some dude that hangs out with the youth group because it's a place to cruise Jesus-chicks. I expect a for-real, sold-out-to-Jesus sort of believer. If he is one of those, he's already light years ahead of most of the testosterone factories that ambulate through the high school hallways every day.

Second, he must treat my daughter with respect. Open the door. Buy her dinner. Do what he says he is going to do. And, by all means, keep his hands north of the 10th parallel and well south of the 40th. Theologians call the area of earth bordered by the 10th and 40th latitudes the "10/40 window." It refers to the area where the most "unreached people groups" in the world live. Where my daughter is concerned, the 10/40 window is closed. Preferably, he will not touch her at all, but if, occasionally, his knee brushes hers (the knee is the 40th parallel in my mind), I guess that is okay. But only accidentally. If at all. Come to think of it, let's just have no touching. It would also be nice if he says "yes ma'am" to Mrs. Weller, and it would be nice if he was sort of terrified of me, too.

Beyond that, I have a lot of flexibility. Turns out young William is in the Everett band. That's good. He plays the clarinet. Benny Goodman played the clarinet. Band is definitely a plus in his portfolio even if the clarinet is a bit too sultry in this particular instance. Earlier this week he had to get off the phone because he needed to study - another admirable trait.

It seems unlikely that I can meet Will prior to Friday night's game, so here is the plan: Friday afternoon I am riding along with Officer McNamara. As a Lansing Police Department Chaplain, I frequently get all geared up, complete with uniform and bullet-proof vest, and ride along with the officers. McNamara is a canine officer, so (I think) he's not assigned to a particular district. If that is the case, I'm thinking Mac and his dog and I might need to drop by Everett High School during the game for a public relations visit. In uniform. With the dog. And meet Will.

Yeah, that sounds just about perfect.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I am reading Watchman Nee's book Sit, Walk, Stand.

Dean Trune told me that Watchman Nee, after being arrested by the Chinese government, was never allowed to be alone with anyone because he always ended up leading them to Christ. His jailers placed him in solitary confinement. Even then, he kept converting the guards. Eventually they took the extraordinary steps of cutting out his tongue to silence him.

He never wrote a book. Notes taken by those who heard him were eventually published in book form. Sit, Walk, Stand is Nee's look at the book of Ephesians. Ephesians 1-3, he says, are doctrinal in nature, while chapters 4-6 are practical.

Frankly, it is one of those books that I am going to have to re-read. It is too difficult, in parts, for me to get the first time around. One part I do understand, though, is this:
Too many Christians have all the doctrine but live lives that are a contradiction of it. They know all about chapters 1 to 3 of Ephesians, but they do not put chapters 4 to 6 into practice. It were better to have no doctrine than to be a contradiction. Has God commanded something? Then throw yourself back on God for the means to do what he has commanded. May the Lord teach us that the whole principle of the Christian life is that we go beyond what is right to do what is well-pleasing to him.
Wow. I think that describes the church I grew up in. We were more concerned with being right than being well-pleasing. In our movement it was really easier to grow up knowing about Jesus, than it was to grow up knowing Jesus - at least it was for me. I am grateful that we seem to be striking a more balanced chord in recent years. There may be a few that throw out the doctrinal baby with the bath water but, for the most part, we seem to finally be getting that we must obey the scriptures and have a relationship with their Author. At least I hope we are.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Good advice from Glenn

I often listen to Glenn Beck when I am in the car. He said something earlier this week that has been bouncing back and forth in my mind ever since. His comment: "The key to living successfully is acting proactively."

I think he is right.

Two nights ago I told the youngest of the Franklies to snow-blow our driveway. I suggested he do the neighbors too, having noticed it had not yet been cleaned out. He did; then last night, as we were cleaning our garage, the neighbor came by and handed him $21. He said, "No, no, I did that because we are neighbors, you don't need to do that." She insisted; so did he. Finally, he relented when she said, "Consider this as payment for the next time, then."

That is proactivity. Jonah cleaned her walk and driveway and earned enough money to pay his way to the youth group lock-in. How can I, at 41 years old, learn to do what Jonah has learned at thirteen?

Frankly, I react far more than I proact. I allow circumstances or events to dictate what I do. My calendar is filled with reactions. As I look through what I am working on, I see too little "sharpening of the saw." Too much going on in quadrants one and three and not enough in quadrant two.

My intentions are there. I arrive at the office planning to sequester myself for two or three hours of seeking God and sermon preparation. Someone drops by. The phone rings. The computer alerts me to a newly arrived email. (I have a thought that I just have to blog.) Soon I am following a rabbit trail that leads me far from my intended course. And, it is difficult to discern which of these are "distractions" and which are fundamental to my work as a pastor. The Apostles thought it wrong for them to "neglect the ministry of the word" to minister to people's needs, and yet I am certain that they didn't turn their backs on folks.

Where is the line? How do I balance being proactive in my ministry with reacting to the people I minister to? And, what would it take for me to become less of a reactionary and more of a "proactionary?"

Discipline, I suspect. Discipline to lay out my calendar and stick to it. Discipline to plan my meals and my workouts and refuse to deviate from my plans. Discipline to get to bed on time so I can get up when I intend. Plan the work; work the plan. Pay the price. Just do it. All the accurate axioms that I too easily relegate to platitude status.

I tell the people who come to me for marriage advice, "Having a good marriage is 20% knowing what to do and 80% doing what you know."

Maybe I need to take a page out of my own playbook and work a little harder at putting it into practice.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Love this musical!

Tried to rip Abby's DVD of Hairspray to her iPod today but failed. Sorry sis. Here is something that should make you smile, though. - Love, Dad

Monday, January 05, 2009

A (not so typical) day in the life of . . . Frankly Speaking

A full day today for Frankly Speaking. At the risk of seeming incredibly vain, I thought I would share my first full work day of 2009 with you, my faithful readers.
  • 4:30 AM - Alarm goes off; roll out of bed; shower; put on a suit for LPD Chaplain duty
  • 5:00 AM - Leave for office to retrieve stuff for Chaplain's Lineup
  • 5:20 AM - Arrive at office; get stuff; leave
  • 5:30 AM - Purchase pies at Meijer; one apple, one Dutch apple, one peach, and one cherry
  • 5:50 AM - Arrive at Lansing Police Department North Precinct and begin cutting pies; make contact with command staff
  • 6:00 AM - Lineup
  • 6:10 AM - Chaplain's Lineup; introduce chaplaincy program; show Dave Ramsey video; Dave Ramsey video doesn't work; invite officers to attend Financial Peace University; serve pie
  • 6:30 AM - Leave for home; call daughter on the way to make sure she's up; she announces 2-hour delay for Grand Ledge High School
  • 6:45 AM - Arrive home and check News Channel 6 to confirm school delay; watch thirty minutes of lions eating stuff on Discovery Channel; leave house
  • 7:30 AM - Arrive at Fitness USA and begin working out (interval training on the treadmill); run into "Tiny", the youth pastor from Trinity Methodist, who helped coach Jonah's football team
  • 8:30 AM - Finish workout; shower (amazing water pressure); head for home
  • 8:45 AM - Make sure kids are up (again) and cook breakfast for them (very atypical for me)
  • 9:30 AM - Take Jonah to Beagle; Abby and Caleb to Grand Ledge High School
  • 9:45 AM - Head to South Lansing Christian Church for work
  • 10:15 AM - Arrive at office; visit with Micki, Sue, Wally, Chad and Tim
  • 10:45 AM - SEEK time; Reading from Hebrews 11-13; journal; pray; journal some more
  • 10:55 AM - Drop in visitor; set SEEK time aside
  • 11:45 AM - Good visit; back to SEEK time
  • 12:15 PM - Prep for Staff Meeting
  • 12:20 PM - Drop-in visitor; prep-time set aside
  • 12:47 PM - Back to prep time; scurrying to get ready for staff meeting
  • 1:00 PM - Waiting on staff to arrive for 1 PM Staff Meeting; (I've set a bad example for timeliness and I didn't communicate to the rest of the staff my newly minted resolve to be punctual)
  • 1:20 PM - Staff meeting begins (finally)
  • 2:30 PM - Leave for LPD afternoon lineup
  • 3:10 PM - Chaplain's Lineup; repeat spiel from 6:00 AM, pie inclusive
  • 3:30 PM - Leave to return to office
  • 4:00 PM - Meet with parishioner; pray for his troubled marriage
  • 5:00 PM - Reply to emails
  • 5:05 PM - Check the news: Drudge, LSJ, Fark
  • 5:35 PM - Pack up computer
  • 5:41 PM - Leave for home; listen to podcast of Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me on the way
  • 5:50 PM - Check the mail; no check from Indiana house yet; stress about bills
  • 6:30 - Enter nutrition and exercise for today on gyminee .com
  • 6:51 PM - Supper with the family (Hamburger Helper and green beans)
  • 7:45 PM - Leave for Chaplain's Lineup
  • 8:10 PM - Chaplain's Lineup; repeat spiel from 6:00 AM and 3:00 PM; more pie
  • 8:30 PM - Leave for home; stop at QD to get snacks for Abby and Caleb; show Abby a parking meter 'cause she says she's never seen one before
  • 9:00 PM - Arrive at home
  • 9:45 PM - Wii bowling with the Franklies - I won; Wii tennis with Frankette - won that, too
  • 10:46 PM - Finish writing this post; worry that it is incredibly vain; post it anyway; go to bed

Friday, January 02, 2009

Thanks, Claiborne . . .

The Providence Journal is reporting that former United States Senator Claiborne Pell passed away yesterday. Serving in relative obscurity, Pell's name will forever be synonymous with the grants that bear his name.

I received a Pell grant in college. I hope that, in four years, when I have a daughter and a son both in college, that they might receive Pell grants too.

It's funny. Someone I never met helped make it possible for me to go to college. Who knows how many times I have been blessed by the efforts of someone I never met. Pell grants.

Thanks, Senator.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Standing on the shoulders of . . . Ron Otto

Ron Otto stopped by this morning for a visit. My predecessor at South Lansing Christan Church, Ron was youth minister when he arrived here in 1993. When he left for Lincoln, Illinois sixteen years later he left behind a legacy of outstanding preaching, impassioned evangelism, and a new building near the corner of Aurelius and Miller Roads.

To be completely frank, and that is what Frankly Speaking is all about, following a man of Ron's stature was a bit intimidating to me when I came to South last August. The guy can preach! His people skills are without peer. He is able to inspire and motivate people to action like few other preachers I know. The cool thing is that Ron has done the same for me.

I never leave his presence without a couple new ideas that I am eager to try out. I know that he has been one of my biggest supporters here at South - both to me personally, and behind the scenes with those I know.

We often needle one another. Ron is just that kind of guy. He greases people and laughs when they dish it right back. But seriously, Ron is a guy that I respect and admire. And just in case I've never told you that, I thought you should know.

Your preacher wears pantyhose

Two decades ago I wore pantyhose. But only at Christmas time. It was not a fetish, just festive. I should explain; as a student at Great Lakes Christian College I participated in the Madrigal singers. Fellow GLCC Alum, Eric Sherman, dug up this old video of me and my fellow singers. This was shot for public access cable and, as it turns out, was sponsored by the church where I am now the preacher. Go figure. Oh. In case you're wondering, I am the one in the pink aluminum foil.

"

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas!

The Franklies are headed off to South Lansing Christian Church in a little bit for Christmas Eve service. We'll get home about 1 A.M. and crash, waking up six or so hours later to a breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon. Then, with our appetites sated and our hearts warmed, we'll gather around the fireplace to open gifts. I love it.

What will you be doing the next twelve hours or so?

What gift are you expecting to receive?

What gift are you most excited about giving?

The gift of God incarnate - timeless, priceless, and precious - of all the blessings we celebrate this time of year, He is the gift that really matters.

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Our church rocks!

I started to write a lengthy post about how proud I am of the folks who stepped up today to meet the need I wrote about in this post. Then I got to thinking about the whole, "do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing thing" and deleted it.

You folks know who you are and what you did. More importantly, you know for Whom you did it.

Your preacher just wanted you all to know that I am proud of you . . .

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Two for the family . . .

My missionary sister sent a couple of photos from my niece, Laura's, birthday that I wanted to share with friends and family. Yes, that is a fan on the left of the photo. It is ninety plus degrees where they live - unlike here where there are ten inches of snow on the ground and the wind chill is in the teens.

Friday, December 19, 2008

A divine appointment . . . by patrol car.

My friend Dean Trune tells all of these astonishing stories about the divine appointments that God puts in his path. I've often wondered why I don't have more of those, or maybe I just am too dense to recognize them when they appear.

Last night I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had me right where he wanted me. As a volunteer chaplain for Lansing Police Department, I ride along with officers once a month (sometimes more). Yesterday I was riding with Officer Smith (I've changed the names here) when we received a call that a babysitter called 911. She had become overwhelmed, was holding a knife, and was threatening to hurt herself or the babies she was watching.

For the first time since I've been a chaplain we drove with lights and sirens. I stopped looking at the speedometer when it went north of 90 miles per hour. When we got to the townhouse, we were grateful to learn that the young woman had safely located the children to an upstairs bedroom, placed the knife in the kitchen sink, and was waiting for us to arrive.

As the officers talked with the babysitters, I went upstairs to play with the children. There was a little boy and a baby girl. The girl was crying and had a runny nose. She had spit up her spaghetti dinner all over her brother's mattress. I cleaned her up, puts some pants on her and gave her a teddy bear. The boy, who was three-years-old, was a lot of fun. Little Jonathon and I played with cars together. We read a book and rolled the cars back and forth on the hardwood floor.

After a while I took the children downstairs to watch some television. I asked the babysitter the little girl's name. (Little Jonathon couldn't pronounce it.) When the babysitter told me her unique name I realized why the little boy looked so familiar. Both of these children used to attend South Lansing Christian Church along with their parents. Their dad ran off about six months ago leaving mom to raise the two little ones alone. She moved a couple of times and our church lost track of them.

After I settled the little ones down to watch Bob the Builder I roamed around the townhouse. This three bedroom town house had no furniture. For the past six months, this family has been living with only a small dresser, a twin mattress and a baby-crib mattress. Aside from a television and a telephone, they have nothing else. Literally. Nothing else. No couches or chairs. No kitchen table. No end tables. No appliances. Nothing.

Now here is the thing that makes this such a divine appointment. Several months ago an apartment building around the corner from the church burned. Our church began collecting furniture to donate to people who had lost all their furnishings. With our pole building bursting with furniture we called the Red Cross to begin the distribution. The Red Cross told us that The Salvation Army had the distribution list. When we called The Salvation Army, they told us that the Red Cross had the list. The fact is, nobody had a list, and we had a pole barn full of furniture that we couldn't get rid of. And, we didn't know why.

Now I do. Sunday afternoon a team of deacons from South are loading up a trailer full of furniture and taking it to this family. Others are donating food. A Sunday school class is going to donate some funds that we can use to get some Christmas gifts (and maybe a tree) for the little ones.

All because I rode with a cop. At the exact time God wanted me to. Cool. Very cool.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Your sins . . . made public?!

A Florida church is catching flack for their elders' decision to publicly announce to the congregation that one of their members is having pre-marital sex with her boyfriend. The 49-year-old woman, who is divorced from her husband, was told by Grace Community Church to stop sleeping with her new beau. She refused. Under pressure from Grace Community Church, she decided to withdraw her membership and is now attending elsewhere.

On January 4th the church leadership plans, in accordance with their understanding of scripture, to "tell it to the church." The scripture the church references is Matthew 18:15-17:
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Church discipline is a sticky wicket. (Check out this Wall Street Journal article on the subject.) The fact of the matter is, there are plenty of Frankly Speaking readers that are considerably smarter than this author. So here are a couple of questions for which I would love to read your answers:

Is this a correct application of Matthew 18?

Jesus said, "If your brother sins against you . . ." How does that apply in this instance?

Finally, how does Galatians 6:1, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." fit into all of this?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Hotcakes, cars and clocks: Weller's theory of time relativity

Yesterday I breakfasted with Brian. I explained my theory of why time seems to fly over a meal of pecan-raisin pancakes at Flapjack Restaurant. But first, let me explain how, between mouthfuls of steaming hotcakes smothered in (sugar-free) syrup, the subject came up.

Brian mentioned that his oldest grandson is seventeen and carrying a newly-minted driver's license in his wallet. As it happens, the oldest of the Franklies is seventeen herself and has recently taken to the road. (She nearly spun out, in fact, on the way home from her High School Christmas concert last night, but correctly corrected and made her way home like a real life Michigan driver - which she is, of course.)

Anyway, both Brian and I were feeling a little bit sentimental as we talked about how quickly time has passed. Just yesterday my daughter was tooling around in a Little Tykes coupe with red fenders and a yellow roof. Made of plastic, the body resisted all attempts at dents and dings. Today she drives around in one of Detroit's finest. Interstate, inner-city - she does fine in any environment except perhaps dirt roads, which she has not yet had the occasion to drive on. (Except for those times when she was thirteen and I would let her drive our old Astro minivan the back way from Butler to the Koeppe farm - but don't tell her mother.)

Back to breakfast. Brian said to me, "I can't believe how quickly time flies."

"I have a theory about that," I replied.

"Let's have it."

"It is like this: When you're six years old and you're waiting for Christmas to come, or you're waiting for the big day when you finally get to ride the school bus, it seems like time drags on. That is because a month is a significant percentage of your total life experience.

"It seems like it takes forever for you to turn ten years old because one year, when you are only nine, is over ten percent of your lifetime. When you're forty-one like me, though, one year is less than 2.5% of your total life experience. It's not that time passes more quickly, it is just that it seems to because your perception of the future is compared to your experience of the past. It is the same reason why almost everyone looks back on their childhood as 'the good old days' when life seemed to move at a slower pace.

"In other words, I consider Christmas coming in just over a week and I think, 'it is just a blink away.' My four-year-old goddaughter, however, thinks it will never get here. We view time differently."

Consider that in light of eternity.

Earlier this week our church laid to rest a thirty-seven-year-old woman who passed away from cancer. Tammy left behind a loving husband and five children ages sixteen months to fourteen years. For her husband, Chris, and her children, I imagine it seems like it will be a very long time until they are able to see her again. And, for the youngest of her family, that time will seem to pass more slowly, especially right now. Chris enjoyed fourteen years with his wife. Their infant son knew her less than two. Sadly, they likely will spend far more time without Tammy than with her - at least here on earth.

Except for this - Tammy is a Christ-follower. So is her husband and their three oldest children. I expect the littlest two will be, too. And so I was able to say with confidence at her funeral:
You're going to spend far more years with Tammy than without her. Heaven is forever, friends. And even if all of us live to a ripe old age, living decades here on earth without Tammy, that time is only a fraction of a whisper of a moment compared to the time that you will spend with her in Heaven.
It seems like the time between now and when we are finally at home in Heaven ticks by ever so slowly. And yet, viewed from the lens of eternity, say, a million years from now, this life is "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." And, on freezing, snow-covered days like today, I am glad for that.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Lose the smile, you're in Indiana!

WRTV 6 is running a story that details my home state of Indiana's decision to disallow smiling for driver's licenses. Yes, you read that correctly. Hoosiers can no longer smile when their driver's license photos are snapped.

More troubling than the grinch-ification of the Indiana BMV, however, is their reasoning. Indiana's new facial recognition software recognizes specific facial features so that, ostensibly, identity theft becomes more difficult. More disconcerting to me, however, is how much the whole thing smacks of Big Brother. (The literary figure, kids, not the reality show.) Do we really want to record and codify the facial features of every person applying for a driver's license in Indiana? Makes for a handy database if government ever decides to become, say, intrusive or heavy handed. Not that government would ever do that - at least not any time soon, right?

I don't know. Maybe the folks at the BMV are right. Then again, the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles was ushered into the "modern era" by Joel Silverman, the former Jock-strap salesman that Governor Mitch Daniels hired away from Galyan's, a failed chain of Indianapolis Sporting Good's stores. Silverman's brief bureaucratic career was, in many people's minds, accurately characterized by my then twelve-year-old daughter shortly after she heard him speak at a town hall meeting back in Butler, Indiana. When I asked her what her impression was of Silverman she gave a one-word answer: "Loser!"

The BMV systematically dismantled their delivery service over the course of the several years by closing local branches all over the state of Indiana despite the clear wishes of Indiana taxpayers. That the same BMV is banning smiling doesn't surprise the Hoosiers I've spoken with. Given the way the BMV has been administered over the years, they stopped smiling long ago.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Three dollars, and worth every penny . . .

I am reading Bob Greene's book, Fraternity: A Journey in Search of Five Presidents. I came across it in Big Lots the other day while Mrs. Frankly was shopping for . . . whatever it was she was shopping for. I loved Greene's Once Upon a Town, so I picked it up. By the time Tracy found me reading in some recliner destined to become a Christmas gift for someone's lucky husband, I had already chewed through the first chapter.

Greene interviewed five former Presidents for the book: Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan and Bush. It is the best $3 read I've ever bought. Here is a snippet from the book in which Greene considers the toughness of veteran combat pilots George H. W. Bush (41) and Geroge McGovern, who unsuccessfully ran for the office that Bush eventually attained:
I've always thought that there should be an unwritten rule for those of us who were born after World War II: Whenever you meet an old combat pilot from the war, you are automatically disqualified from thinking that your life could possibly measure up to his. He beat you before you blinked in the light. Yet somehow Bush - and McGovern - had been judged by millions of their countrymen, and by commentators who had never heard a shot fired in anger, as if they were lifelong croquet players, badminton aficianados, instead of men who, when it counted, piloted bombers against the enemy during the greatest war in the history of human conflict.
Both Georges, and millions of other men and women just like them, deserve our thanks. And, in a smaller - but no less sincere way - Bob Greene has earned mine.