Letting go of Abby

Our daughter, Abigail, got her license a few weeks back. It was a long time in coming. She completed driver's education when we lived in Indiana, but we moved to Michigan just a few weeks before she was eligible to get her Indiana license. Initially we thought we might let her just use our old Indiana address to get her license and then just transfer it to Michigan. After rethinking it, though, we thought it would be simpler to just make one transaction after we moved.

We were wrong. She had to get her Michigan driver's permit and then undergo a second driver's ed class. Then, she had to take her driver's test. She passed with flying colors and we headed into East Lansing for the MSU vs. Purdue football game to celebrate. The following Monday she and I went to the Secretary of State and she became a full-fledged driver.

The last couple of weeks have been about us taking the training wheels off. He first trip was to the Student Leader meeting for South's youth group. She drove her brothers to school several times. Youth group trips on Sunday night were part of the process, too. The real test, however, took place today when she and her brothers headed south to Grandma and Grandpa's house in Butler, Indiana. The two hour trip took them down Interstate 69 at 70 mph.

The thought of everything that matters to Tracy and I heading down the highway at any speed faster than a Huffy made me twitch. I had them call me when they left the house, when they got on the interstate, when they crossed the state line, when they got off the interstate . . . you get the idea. They arrived safely. End of anxiety, right?

Nope.

A couple hours after arriving in Butler Abby called to ask if she could go to a movie with her friend, John. Who is a boy. Who would be driving her. To the movie. And back to her grandparents. Her first official car date?

I said that this weekend's trip was about us removing the training wheels. The truth is, I think maybe it is more about me learning to let go. To be completely honest, it hurts because I know where this is all headed. Seventeen years ago my wife and I went on our first "post-baby" date and entrusted our little girl to a babysitter for the first time. Today we're racing toward Abby moving into a college dorm and, (gulp!) walking down a church aisle.

When I was about to become a father for the first time a wiser, older man told me, "Frank your children will break your heart." As he was the father of a great kid that made him proud then (and since with a great husband, career, and beautiful granddaughter), I was puzzled by his comment.

I understand now. . .

Where are you leading?

Just finished Andy Stanley's book Next Generation Leader with our Joshua's Men group. For the past twelve months I have been leading a group of seven emergent leaders through a series of books focusing on leadership - at home, at work, and in the church. We started work on the inside focusing on spiritual formation and, as it turned out, we ended there, too.

I love what Andy Stanley wrote on page 28: "We must never forget that people who follow us are exactly where we have led them."

A sobering thought for those of us who lead others . . .

Common sense, the Constitution and Scripture

A friend from South sent this video clip of Michigander, Ted Nugent, expressing his opinion on a person's right to bear arms. Ted is well known for his support of the Second Amendment, and his involvement with the National Rifle Association.

As I watched the clip, I found myself agreeing. The common sense part of me says, "Yes, a person should be able to defend himself or herself." Our founding fathers thought it important that we be able to do so. It seems that, if all of us are endowed by our creator with the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," that we ought to be able to secure those rights with a firearm. Nugent is obviously passionate in this regard - more passionate than me, certainly.

On the other hand, it is difficult for me to reconcile his comments with the Apostle John's: "Beloved, let us love one another. For love comes from God and everyone that loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love." Herein lies the enigmatic tension with which I continue to struggle: the tension between living as a citizen of this nation, and as a citizen of the Kingdom of God.

Take a look at the video and see if you don't find yourself conflicted, too. Then, if you're inclined, comment and see if you can't help me wrap my head around the issue of dual citizenship. WARNING: Be advised that Ted uses some strong language - stronger than you're used to reading or hearing at Frankly Speaking.

Jonah - 2001

A friend in Indiana was cleaning out her computer files today and sent me this picture of our son, Jonah. Though he is now thirteen, Jonah was only six at the time and was holding one of Emma's pups. Brings back memories . . .

So a preacher walks into a bar . . .

I am sitting at The Rockford, a watering hole in downtown Farwell, Michigan. They advertised "Free Wi-Fi" on the sign out front, so I stopped in to do a little online work between the morning and afternoon hunts. This is something new for me, I must admit. I've rarely gone into a bar, and I certainly never went in to have a bite to eat and answer email.

Quick quiz: A guy wearing an Indiana University sweatshirt and typing on a MacBook Pro is in a bar in Farwell, Michigan with a bunch of guys in camo and a dude setting up sound equipment for tonight's "Thirsty Tuesday Band Night." (There's a guy with a long beard - like the dude from ZZ Top, too.) Which of these does not fit? You're right, it's me.

Seems Jesus went to a lot of places where he didn't fit in either - not that I am Jesus, of course. My motives aren't nearly so altruistic. Hey, I just came for the free Wi-Fi.

I've seen tons of deer. Shot at three. Killed one, but didn't find it until the day after - and after the coyotes, I am afraid. I seem to keep missing where I am aiming. I'm beginning to think that I either stink at hunting, or I have bumped my rifle's scope. Tonight is my last chance. Nothing over 200 yards. 150 is better.

PS - They just delivered my burger. The condiments come to the table in a cardboard Miller Lite 6-pack carrier. Cool. I think.

Frankly Speaking selected for Alltop!!

Frankly Speaking was recently added to Alltop. Alltop is an online magazine rack that collects popular feeds about various topics. My blog was added to the "Modern Church" section. Browse on over and check it out!

Restricting literacy by choice. . .

When I moved to Michigan I left behind an amazing group of people who were working to bring library service to the entire county from which I moved. The place of my birth, elementary and high school years, DeKalb County, Indiana has a very special place in my heart. My family continues to live there, and when we talk about "going home," it is the place to which we are referring.

Shortly before I relocated to Lansing, I and a group of literacy advocates met with the County Commissioners in an effort to persuade them to extend library service to every township in the county. Now, for the Frankly Speaking readers that take their library cards for granted, an explanation is necessary. Indiana is one of a handful of states that does not provide taxpayer supported library services for all of it's citizens. 93% of Hoosiers have a tax-payer funded library card. 7% do not, and must purchase an annual subscription. While not a problem for some, many who live in a "unserved" area cannot afford a library card and thus are forced to do without.

At the aforementioned meeting we presented our case. The commissioners dismissed our request forthwith. Frankly, it appeared to many of us who were present that they went into the standing-room only meeting with their minds already made up. Sadly, DeKalb County - the county where I grew up, the county where I still own property and continue to pay property taxes - remains one of the relatively few underserved counties in the United States.

How did we respond? We licked our wounds and moved on. At Butler Public Library, a dedicated staff and board of directors are building a new library - with no tax dollars! The other libraries in the county continue to expand services and offer programming to all citizens regardless of their ability or inability to access materials that can be checked out and taken home.

Today I was blessed to return the Butler Public Library for a "topping off" ceremony. The last bit of structural steel is about to be placed at the new library and soon the structure will be buttoned up for winter so interior work can begin.

While there I inquired about the recent elections and how they might affect library service. I learned that County Councilman Larry Moughler had an interesting quote in The Evening Star. I respect Larry Moughler. He is a good Christian man. He has worked hard his whole life, raised four good sons, and served his country in the United States Marine Corps. His grandkids are friends with my oldest two children. What is more, as a Gideon, he promotes Bible distribution throughout the world. He is a great guy, really, that I'm sure I would agree with on most topics. But, if he is quoted correctly in this particular article, I couldn't disagree more.

When asked his position on bringing county-wide library service to DeKalb County, Larry said,

"I don't use the library service . . . I know to some people it's very important. To me, it wouldn't be worth it . . . I'm not a reader, I guess, so I wouldn't appreciate that."

For the life of me, I just cannot understand that mindset. It is akin to me saying, "I don't use centrally dispatched 911 service . . . that may be important to some people, but I don't like to talk on the phone and don't expect an emergency, so I guess I wouldn't appreciate that." These same folks say, "I don't have kids in school, so why should I pay a school tax?"

Some services, while not universally used, are necessary because they collectively raise the quality of life and intellectual tide of a community. Library service is one such service. I cannot imagine a world where a quality library of wide-ranging books, periodicals, and media from authors and artists with whom I agree and disagree are not available to anyone who wants them. I've read about such places. George Orwell wrote about one in his book, 1984.

As I was pondering my frustration with the "I'm-not-personally-using-the-library-so-I'm-not-going-to-support-it" mindset, I spoke with a ministry colleague on the phone who told me of a quote he read some time ago:

"Those that don't read are no better off than those that can't."

My fear is this: the former - those who do not read and choose to not support libraries, the very organizations that promote reading - are ensuring a greater increasing supply of the latter.

For you, Dad and Mom . . .

Tina and Marty, were afraid you might have trouble opening the email, pop, so here is this picture for you. For those of you who don't know them . . . this is my sister, her husband, and my two nieces, Heather and Laura, outside their home in Guinea, West Africa.

The part that impressed me . . .

I thought President-Elect Obama's victory speech last night was amazing. While there were a couple of points on which I disagree - his affirmation of Roosevelt's New Deal, for example - I nevertheless thought it humble, genteel, and even inspiring. The portion of his speech that most moved me was when he said,

Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.

To those -- to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

I am convinced that our 44th President is a good man, and there is no doubt that Obama is a great orator who has the makings of the best speech giving Commander in Chief of my lifetime. For my part, I will be praying that he is more than merely a good orator but, given that governing is so much more than making fine speeches, a good President, too.

Thoughts?

Witnessed history tonight. I agree with Bill Bennett who said he would be praying for President Obama. Bennett, he related was a great candidate who he now hoped would be a great President. Your thoughts?

Here's my story. What is yours?

Stopped by Sawdon School this morning on the way to work to cast my ballot. When I arrived, there was ample parking and no line. I made my way to precinct four. Sawdon houses four polling places and none looked overwhelmed. I showed my ID, signed a card testifying to my residence, and received my ballot. There were no people in line ahead of me. I filled out my ballot, placed it in the machine (I was the 127th person voting on that machine), got my sticker and left.

The whole effort took less than five minutes.

How about you? What is your November 4th story?

Lowering my ears

Finally got a haircut tonight at Great Clips in the Meijer store next door. The hair looks good. She even trimmed my bushy eyebrows and chopped the thatch out of my ears (Fred). Too bad they couldn't do anything with the rest of my melon . . .

Doc Doty

I saw a picture of Doc Doty on Eric's Facebook page the other night. It reminded me of a letter that Doc sent me over ten years ago. I had just arrived at the Butler Church of Christ as their new preacher. Just months prior, the church had undergone a difficult time. As I began my ministry there, I sent letters to dozens of Christian leaders. I asked Bible college presidents to pray. I sent a letter to Charles Stanley, even. (He responded personally that he would be praying for us.)

I saved all these letters. My most cherished is from Doc. It means even more to me now that I am preaching at Doc's "home church." I can't imagine what it must have been like for Ron to look out from the pulpit and see Doc sitting among the faithful. What a privilege. Here is what Doc wrote to me:

Dear Frank,

I have kept letter of last month on my desk here at GLCC . . and it has reminded me to pray again and again in your behalf.

Without knowing the specific situation and/or problems at Butler I have taken your name to the Lord, sincerely asking that you might find release from pressure / or tight situations . . or any other oppressive obstacle (or obstacles) confronting you.

It will be a pleasure and a relief whenn you are able to inform me that the matter of concern(s) [is resolved] . . and that you are again at peace in heart and soul.

Sincerely in Christ,

Doc Doty

I don't know whether or not they read blogs in Heaven, but I do know that "we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses." Among that cloud, looking down upon us, is Dr. Brant Lee Doty. Doc, I still covet your prayers. Thanks for standing beside me.

Reflection on SERVE Day

I just watched the late news on WILX. They ran a story about our SERVE day that begin with, "Well, it's not often that you find a pastor encouraging you to skip church. But that's just what Senior Minister Frank Weller of South Lansing Christian Church did. Today the church skipped their worship service in favor of community service."

Well, I did encourage people to skip our 10 AM service. But I also urged them to come back for a special 6 PM service. And they did - about 300 of them, in fact.

In short, today was amazing. There were 338 people that volunteered to serve. Instead of a worship service, we had service worship. Southies . . .

• . . . packed a semi-load of clothing for shipment to the Ukraine.
• . . . prepped a garden plot for spring planting as a community garden.
• . . . hosted a neighborhood carnival.
• . . . watched lots of little kids so their parents could participate in SERVE day.
  
• . . . decorated gift bags to be sent to Haiti (filled with food for hungry Haitians).
• . . . took dessert to Lansing Police department's North and South Precincts as well as the Detention unit and the 911 Dispatch center. We even had enough for two fire stations.
• . . . washed and packaged potatoes for distribution at a local assisted living apartment building.
• . . . painted playground lines at North Elementary school.
• . . . cleaned up Burchfield Park.
• . . . painted a jungle gym at Hawk Island Park.
• . . . sang and visited at the nursing home.
• . . . sorted food at the food bank.
• . . . cleaned the teeth of dozens of head-start kids.
• . . . packaged enough meals to feed 11,000 people for Kids Against Hunger.
• . . . built a porch and wheelchair ramp for a disabled man in Mason.
  

All told, there were over 1,000 "person hours" committed to serving today. Probably more.

For almost a year, our church has been challenged to Seek, Study and Serve God. Today, I sense that our folks really embraced the challenge to serve. I don't know, for sure, the lasting effects of today's efforts. I suspect, however, that our folks are more excited about serving than ever.

Not only did I see a lot of people acting like Jesus today. I think I also saw many of them become more like Him, too. What a day!

One more from Dave Shiflett

Just finished reading Exodus: Why Americans Are Fleeing Liberal Churches for Conservative Christianity by Dave Shiflett. (See previous post). Shiflett had one more quote I wanted to pass along. He interviewed Chuck Colson to get his take on the state of the Faith in America. Shiflett writes:

"The sixties were laudable in their efforts to bring social justice to society," Colson said. At the same time this was the period when Liberal churches did good things for many people. But they also became less spiritually relevant. "People want the real thing. They are not interested in a pale substitute, because it can never satisfy. It just doesn't answer the questions people have."

Today, he said, many churches that are presumed to be orthodox, at least compared with mainline churches, are making the same mistake. This is especially true in some of the large evangelical churches, which Colson said are the purveyors of "self-centered worship. You may get people to come to those churches, and you may have church growth. But you will not have church impact. The reason is that church becomes increasingly like the culture. People go in, see a skit, listen to some music, hear a soothing sermon, and think they've done their Christian duty. They are entering the exact precarious position the mainline found itself in in the sixties and seventies." As such these churches may eventually see their own pews empty. What churches should be doing, Colson said, is teaching believers that Christianity offers a sound and rational explanation of life and helping them to "see the world through God's eyes and govern their behavior accordingly."

This is particularly relevant on the eve of our church's largest service project ever. As we make an effort to serve the community we must not make the same mistake that mainline churches committed a generation ago. Service and theological liberalism are not necessarily tied to one another. We can serve while making sure that, in matters of doctrinal essentials, we have unity. And, we must do so.

The Weller "Bandos"

Every year the Grand Ledge School bands perform at the "Festival of Bands." The two middle school bands perform, and then the High School marching band files in the auditorium to the drumline's cadence. My son, Caleb, is the snare drum, second from the right. My daughter, Abby, is the flag in the balcony on the end. The locals call this event the "Park and Blow," because this is the one event where the marching band is not marching. Enjoy!

Preaching that is relevant . . .

I have been challenged by a book I am reading. Dave Shiflett, in his book Exodus, chronicles the mass exodus out of mainline denominations like the United Methodist, Presbyterian, and Disciples of Christ churches. He observes that congregants don't want to hear political pablum from their pulpits:

Most people don't go to church to learn the minister's opinions on whatever happens to be in the headlines. They can get similar opinions sitting on their sofas watching television, quite possibly presented by someone much better-looking.

Most people go to church to get something they cannot get elsewhere. The consuming public - people who already believe, or who are attempting to believe, or who want their children to believe - go to church to learn about the mysterious Truth on which the Christian religion is built. They want the Good News, not the minister's political views or intellectual coaching. The latter creates sprawling vacancies in the pews. Indeed, those empty pews can be considered the earthly reward for abandoning heaven, traditionally understood.

I agree with Shiflett, I think, (except, perhaps about the better-looking part). That is why I've steered clear of politics in preaching. I do wrestle, however, with the tension of preaching what is relevant to the times in which we find ourselves. The headlines often have moral and spiritual significance. A recent issue of City Pulse, Lansing's self proclaimed newspaper, "for the rest of us," recently carried a cover story promising to tell us "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality."

Where the headlines are so clearly in opposition to the Scriptures as I, our church, and indeed two thousand years of orthodox Christianity understand them, I cannot and should not remain silent.

So where is the line between personal political opinion and scriptural absolutes?

Oh, it turns out Shiflett is a pretty good songwriter, too.

Our youth minister, Chad, is looking to sell his Jeep Wrangler. The funny thing is, he bought it just a couple months ago. When he made the purchase, he was puzzled. The Jeep was a four speed, but the knob on the gear shifter had a 5-speed pattern on it. His solution? Go to the junkyard and get a knob with a four-speed pattern. (I think we all have some OCD tendencies, actually).

Come to find out, it actually is a five-speed. The real problem was with the transmission.

Frankly, I do the same thing a lot of times. There is a problem, but rather than deal with it, I buy a different knob and slap it on. My effort at redefining normal doesn't change anything for the better, it doesn't fix anything, but it sure makes me feel better. So here's to you, Mr. put-a-new-knob-on-it man. As my old friend, Terry Ulm used to tell me, "When confronted with something uncomfortable . . . try not to think about it."

Hope for hurting pastors

I enjoyed an evening out last night with Tracy and two of our elders and their wives. We attended the PastorCare banquet in Grand Rapids. A ministry devoted to restoring wounded pastors and their families, PastorCare is meeting a significant need. Consider these statistics that were shared with us last night:

• 70% of pastors do not have someone they consider a closer friend.
• 50% feel unable to meet the needs of the job.
• 45% of pastors say that they've experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from their ministry.
• The clergy has the second highest divorce rate among all professions.

According to the Ministering to Ministers Foundation:

• Over 1600 pastors in the United States are forced out of their positions each month.
• Nearly 1 in 4 pastors experience a forced termination at least once in their ministry.
• Only 54% of pastors go back into full-time church related positions.

I thank God for John Smith, the Executive Director of Pastorcare.

After leaving our church in Indiana, I experienced some extremely difficult emotions. We poured our life into the church for a decade, and it just wasn't easy to say goodbye. We knew God was calling us to South Lansing - that was clear. But that didn't make the grieving any easier. The feeling that I was leaving home, family, and the church I loved overwhelmed me. People I loved didn't know how to talk with me about our leaving, so much was left unsaid. Friendships were strained; my best friend and I didn't even say "goodbye." My approach: suck it up and deal with it. Nevertheless, on the advice of a fellow pastor, I called John and sat down with him. He was able to help me deal with my emotions and keep from growing bitter or angry.

I am a healthier preacher today because of John Smith and PastorCare.

October is "Clergy Appreciation Month." Make sure you drop your preacher a card and tell him how much his work means to you. And, if you're so inclined, consider making a donation to PastorCare in their honor.

Heartbreak