Monday, February 04, 2008

Need your help . . .

Hey Frankly readers! I am leading a book discussion next month on the topic of building healthy relationships. The suggested book to read is John Maxwell's Be a People Person. Frankly, the guys in the group are "John Maxwelled" out. Can you suggest another book that will challenge them to develop godly relationships?

I had considered Hybels' Just Walk Across the Room, but I already have an "evangelism" title upcoming this year. What suggestions can you give?

Thanks!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I haven't read this book, but I have heard that it is good.

Bruce
Kokomo, IN

Rod Bisher said...

Here is a list of 7 books that have and are changing my life and I suggest reading them in this order, but any of one them is so powerful in and of itself, that your guys will definitely be blessed.
I added my two cents for each title as well.

1.) The Prideful Soul’s Guide to Humility—Michael Fontenot/Thomas Jones (Besides Scripture, this is THE toughest book I've ever read and a must read to develop Godly relationships!)
2.) Dynamic People Skills-Dexter Yager/Ron Ball
(Two of the best in the world at developing strong, Godly relationships)

3.) How to Win Friends and Influence People-Dale Carnegie
(a no brainer if you want to have better relationships)

4.) Positive Personality Profiles-Dr. Robert Rohm
(Why you interact, react, and respond the way you do)

5.) The Dream Giver- Dr. Bruce Wilkinson
(Foundational to helping people move on in life)

6.) Life is Tremendous!-Charlie "Tremendous" Jones
(In working with people and life, attitude is everything)

7.) Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Heroes-Dexter Yager & Ron Ball(Again, two of the best in relationship building but also what makes a man a man.)

Soren said...

"Your Best Life Now" by Botox Boy
"Good Morning Holy Spirit" by Benny Hinn

Besides that, I got nothin' other than Maxwell books.

Julia said...

I find it interesting that you are seeking suggestions on reading materials adressing the issue of relationships and all of your suggestions are from men on books written by men. This is not to suggest that men are incapable of providing good material on the subject of relationships. However, I might suggest that women, in general, are much more "relationally oriented" then are men. Given that most of your blog postings are by men, perhaps there'd be a better tool to solicit suggestions from a broader audience . . . I'll let you know when I have a few of my own ;)

Rod Bisher said...

Julia has a great point and I would concur that women do spend more of their lives developing close interpersonal relationships. Anything written by Beth Moore is very good in that respect.
I understood this to be a book recommended for a guy's study group. So unless they are dealing specifically with spousal issues, Beth's ministry is directed more towards women dealing with women's issues in their spiritual walk. Hence, all of the books written above by men, were meant to deal with men's issues.
Still, Julia has a valid point in having a tool to reach a wider audience.

Julia said...

I was thinking more about this subject and Rod's comment on my way home from work today and while it was not the purpose of Frank's blog, I wanted to continue the discussion.

While I undertand Rod's point that many of Beth Moore's books (and those by other women) focus on "women's issues" I don't think the alleged subject matter precludes their applicability to men and the relational issues they face, especially when the readership consists of those assuming leadership roles within the Church. In fact, I submit that since it is likely that over half of the membership at South (and probably most Christian churches) consists of women, it would behoove the leadership to consider the value of a feminie perspective and how they might benefit from it. Unless, of course one would suggest that the relational responsibility of the male leadership is limited to strictly to their interactions with the male congregants. This then begs the question as to whether "dealing with women" and "women's issues" are the sole responsibility of the more "tender" sex.

I don't believe there is significant value in indetifying issues as either "men's" or "women's" within the body. Note that I did not deny that there might be some. However, to do so suggest that the two are distinct and exist separate from each other. I refuse to believe that we are so shortsighted as to embrace this perspective.

Perhaps, if we hang on to a simple truth; that we are not called, based on our gender, to a different level of servanthood, or grace, or love, or responsibility to each other, than the issue of what are men's and women's issues becomes irrevelant.

Wally Lowman said...

Julia, if you're going to run your yap, throw some girl written book titles out there. Otherwise, hush!

Are you looking for something meaty or something not so meaty?

Bonhoffer has a book called Life Together. It's older, but good. Paul Wadell also has one on Friendship. Its very meaty, though.

Lorabele said...

Julia, I couldn't agree more. I think an exploration into building relationships with both genders would be beneficial. I think that while there are many, many people in our congregation who value contributions from both genders, there are some who appear to seek to interact only with those of their gender.

I have at times found myself feeling invisible when my presence is overlooked and only my husband is acknowledged. Thankfully, this behavior isn't wide spread, but there are some (and unfortunately some have leadership roles in our church) who give the appearance of only valuing contributions by males. It may be that they truly don't value the female contribution, or it may simply be an oversight on their part. I have no idea which is the case.

Then there are those like Rod, who look you in your eye when they ask you how you are, and they wait to hear your response. Just being greeted by Rod can give your day a boost.

My thought is any type of teachings related to relationship building should not apply exclusively to men building relationships with other men, any more than it should apply to women building relationships with other women. Aren't relationships with all types of people significant in a church body?

Frank Weller said...

Wow...I did not anticipate such a response! The suggested book title for the class is "Be a People Person" by John Maxwell. It is, essentially, a stand up straight, have confidence, look people in the eye, kind of book. I want something more. I like the suggestion Rod had - The Prideful Soul's Guide to Humility. From the excerpt I read online, it appears to fit the bill quite nicely. I'm just wondering now if I shouldn't choose a title by a female.

This is a group of men, however, and I think we can all agree, men and women, that guys are not as relationally wired as women. And help we give men, consequently, in developing better relationships is a step in the right direction.

Looking over the book list for the whole year, I noticed that none of those titles are by women. I need to think that through. This is a leadership class and, frankly, I don't know of any widely read leadership titles that are written by women. Not that there aren't any, but that I am unaware of them.

I'm sure open to exploring them, though.

Soren said...

(I'm actually being serious this time).

Laurie Beth Jones has some good books on leadership (especially with regard to Jesus).

Also, Pat Summit's book "Reach for the Summit" has some excellent principles (Pat is the Women's Basketball coach at the University of Tennessee).

Jackie Freiberg is good too (although most of her books are business oriented).

Peggy Noonan is a wonderful writer.