Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thoughts on my daughters BF

So my daughter has a new boyfriend. I haven't actually met the young man yet. We told our daughter when we gave her the "you're-old-enough-to-go-out-on-a-date card" that, before she could go anywhere with some suitor, that they first had to meet me, the DAD.

So Abby has been trying to arrange a meet and greet with young William all week. Apparently there is a basketball game at Everett Friday night and he wants her to accompany him there. So far, it hasn't worked out to meet the youngster.

She tells me he is a good boy. Of course she says that. Charles Manson's squeeze probably told her old man the same thing: "Daddy, whatever you do, don't look at his tattoo. He's very sensitive about it. And besides, all the boys are inking their foreheads these days." I'm sure Will is a good guy, though. My daughter is generally a good judge of character.

There are two musts that I insist upon, two inviolable standards that I expect from any young man who wants to date my daughter. First, he must be a Christian. And by that, I don't mean a kid who attends church just because his folks do, or some dude that hangs out with the youth group because it's a place to cruise Jesus-chicks. I expect a for-real, sold-out-to-Jesus sort of believer. If he is one of those, he's already light years ahead of most of the testosterone factories that ambulate through the high school hallways every day.

Second, he must treat my daughter with respect. Open the door. Buy her dinner. Do what he says he is going to do. And, by all means, keep his hands north of the 10th parallel and well south of the 40th. Theologians call the area of earth bordered by the 10th and 40th latitudes the "10/40 window." It refers to the area where the most "unreached people groups" in the world live. Where my daughter is concerned, the 10/40 window is closed. Preferably, he will not touch her at all, but if, occasionally, his knee brushes hers (the knee is the 40th parallel in my mind), I guess that is okay. But only accidentally. If at all. Come to think of it, let's just have no touching. It would also be nice if he says "yes ma'am" to Mrs. Weller, and it would be nice if he was sort of terrified of me, too.

Beyond that, I have a lot of flexibility. Turns out young William is in the Everett band. That's good. He plays the clarinet. Benny Goodman played the clarinet. Band is definitely a plus in his portfolio even if the clarinet is a bit too sultry in this particular instance. Earlier this week he had to get off the phone because he needed to study - another admirable trait.

It seems unlikely that I can meet Will prior to Friday night's game, so here is the plan: Friday afternoon I am riding along with Officer McNamara. As a Lansing Police Department Chaplain, I frequently get all geared up, complete with uniform and bullet-proof vest, and ride along with the officers. McNamara is a canine officer, so (I think) he's not assigned to a particular district. If that is the case, I'm thinking Mac and his dog and I might need to drop by Everett High School during the game for a public relations visit. In uniform. With the dog. And meet Will.

Yeah, that sounds just about perfect.

15 comments:

Benjamin J Hobbs said...

I'd love to see that...

"Will, this is my dad."

"I thought he was a preacher..."

"I'm a preacher and a cop, son. Don't you ever forget it."

And then the dog starts barking at the kid.

Anonymous said...

Back down daddy! We have to trust Abby and you already said that she is a good judge of character. We gotta trust her to make the right decisions at this point. Does this conversation remind you of the many that you have had with me, reminding me that Abby is almost grown up and at some point we will have to give her wings. I really would prefer that it be at 35, but I am going to rely on God to protect our precious almost grownup girl.

James Pahl said...

If you want Fredo and I can take him fishing. That would be a good way to get to know him...

Soren said...

Great plan Frank! I love it.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad my dad has more respect for me than you do for your daughter. It's real obvious you don't trust her. How demeaning.

Anonymous said...

Are you trying to be funny?
I'm not laughing.
Wondering if Will's parents will be thinking these same thoughts about your daughter. Oh, probably not, they have better character than that.

Debbi Rountree said...

I think it's hilarious!!! Having a daughter who is now married to a wonderful Christian young man (and the mom of 3 of the 4 most awesome grandkids in this world), I remember those first dating years. Those exact same thoughts were expressed by her dad (something about having been in jail, that he wasn't afraid to go back to jail if any young man as much as held hands with his little girl...). It has nothing to do with "trusting" her. It has to do with her being "daddy's little girl" and him not wanting to let go of her.

Frank Weller said...

Hey ya'll this is the daughter here...my dad is great, just so you all know he never showed up to the game he was just messing around. And in fact after the game i was even allowed to go over to his house and meet his mom and spend time with him for a bit. I don't believe my dad is demeaning, and i know for a fact that he trusts me. I am just his baby girl who is growing up and that is hard for any dad. Reading this article I was very amused because I understand his sense of humor and I know for a fact that he is going to love Will.

Randy Burghdoff said...

I find it interesting when people are quick to sound off against someone's public post but not see fit to leave their name. How else can true discussion and reconciliation happen? I'm sure Paul's letters to the church would not have been so heavy if he left them anonymous. In the context of blogging, anonymity seems to be animosity with a safety net. If you can't back up your words with your name then perhaps your words should be left unspoken.

The HUB said...

I think had you actually followed through it still would have been great. Trust is earned by being proved trust worthy. So no harm and no foul to show up and see that he is a good guy. All in all, it was a funny encouraging post to read.

Anonymous said...

Wow, is all I can say to the people who were incredibly rude! Obviously, you do not really know Frank or the relationship he has with his daughter. This is FRANK'S blog and if he wants to air his opinions, his humor, his sadness or anything else then he has every right to. It is incredibly disrepectful to accuse Frank of being an ogre. Because you didn't leave your name says to me that you don't have a backbone, or you don't want Frank to respond to your comments. Grow up! It is his blog! I am sick of people attacking him because he was being honest or funny. He can really make you think about an important issue by the way that he writes. Frank has a gift for writing and that is what you seem to be missing. And, YES, I am bias.

Oh, and by the way, Abby is my daughter too and I think what Frank was joking about doing was hilarious! Frank wouldn't do it just to embarrass our daughter or to make her feel like we don't trust her. We do implicitly! Its hard to watch your baby grow up and become an adult.

Before casting a stone make sure your motives are pure!

Tracy Weller

Debbi Rountree said...

Tracy,
You go girl!!! My thoughts exactly! As I said, I thought it was hilareous! It sounds exactly like Terry when Jamie was first starting to date. They both knew that it was just "hot air", that it was a case of dad just having a hard time letting go. It also showed what kind of relationship they have, they just love to kid with each other. Don't worry, Tracy, we love Frank and his blog. As I said in one of his earlier blogs, it is his blog, and that's what blogs are for. Love you guys!

Heather Lawson said...

Remember when you had those nice police officers "arrest" Matt at our wedding? And I think I remember showing up at your place with my prom date and you greeted us with a gun! :) You've taken it a step further with this young man - showing up with a police man and a gun! Nice!!! :) I hope somebody takes pictures!

Heather

Julie said...

My dad wrote a letter for me to give to the boy I wanted to go out with. I'll have to give you a copy of it sometime.

At the time I thought it was really funny. I knew my dad and I knew his humor. And, in a way I knew that he was also looking out for me. Now... when I think about the letter it just makes me laugh even more.

Anonymous said...

being the daughter of a man who actually does carry a gun for a living, and having lived through the whole dating experience fairly unscathed, I found this whole blog to be hilarious! i think that if you know Frank and the relationship he has with his daughter, you would understand a fathers protective nature and also his desire to put a young man in his place a little. Heck, my dad said that if my boyfriend (now loving husband of 5 years) ever hurt me, he was going to kill him, make it look like an accident and never spend a night in jail!!(with that half serious tone masked by a joking smile) Frank's being tame compared to that. It has nothing to do with Franks trust of his daughter...it's just a dad thing. Trust me, i was happy my dad had my best interest at heart and i'm sure Abby is too.
katie allen