About two weeks ago I was blindsided. I had hurt a friend pretty significantly without realizing it. The wound festered and caused great pain. I was at fault, and that is a problem. The bigger problem, for me though, was that I was so unaware that I had done anything. When all this came to light, my spiritual formation coach, Dean, challenged me to spend a little more time trying to be aware of my surroundings and more self-aware.
Through this process, painful as it has been at times, I think I am beginning to understand more of the person God wants me to be. The irony of it is inescapable. I came to South Lansing Christian Church convinced that God wanted to work through me to bless this congregation. While I am still convinced that God is going to use me, I am becoming more and more convinced that God's greater purpose for my life, right now, is to do to me before he does anything through me. It would seem that God is still at work developing my character. In fact, that might have been God's plan all along in calling me to South.
Throughout this season of reflection, I have been challenged to think through a number of questions. Some of them include:
- What is significant about what God taught me yesterday?
- How did God specifically answer my prayers?
- What happened in spiritual warfare?
- Is there any time where I chose not to listen well to God or to others?
- Was there any time when I spoke too quickly or when I spoke and God desired my silence?
- Was there any time when I displayed anger that offended and, if so, what "right" did I choose not to surrender to God?