You might be a dad . . .

If you've ever given thought to how you can capture, process and distribute drool as an industrial lubricant, you might be a dad.

If your wife has ever put a Dora the Explorer plate with a half-eaten lump of Mac-N-Cheese in front of you and said, "Here, finish this," you might be a dad.

If you've ever thought, "I wonder where that umpire lives," you might be a dad.

If your wife has ever signed you up to coach a sport that you've never even played, you might be a dad.

If you've ever had the race or the game interrupted because you're on bodily fluid - or bodily solid patrol, for that matter - you might be a dad.

If you've ever thought your first name was spelled A-T-M, you might be a dad.

If you've ever considered calling your broker to check on the stock price for Pampers, you might be a dad.

If you've experienced a mild case of whiplash from teaching a kid to drive manual transmission, you might be a dad.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed, out of your league, hyper-protective and fallen in love at the first sight of a pink, wrinkly, squirming newborn, you might be a dad.